Blog
Mormons and Shame: When You Feel You Don't Measure Up to the Ideal
There is nothing wrong with teaching ideals and one could argue that that is the primary job of religious institutions. However, in real life, holding up ideals often leaves members never feeling “good enough” because they have not achieved the ideal righteous Mormon life. Chronic feelings of “never good enough” because your life doesn’t look like an Ensign magazine cover, your child has left the Church, your spouse isn’t committed to church callings, you’re struggling with the word of wisdom, you’re having difficulty forgiving someone, you’re not a good provider, or you’re not an attentive mother or father, can erode our whole sense of self.
Mormon Women and the Challenge of Assertiveness: A Thoughtful Faith Podcast
I had a delightful chat with the passionate and brilliant Gina Colvin, host of A Thoughtful Faith podcast a few days ago about Mormon women, particularly those from Utah, and the challenge of developing and using our own voices.
"Husband Lets Our 4-year old Have Too Much Screen Time"
Husband and I have been married for 8 years, and we've always had a different mindset regarding television and media usage. I grew up with the belief that TV was almost sinful in its idleness and wastefulness, and even had parents that would cancel cable/satellite for stretches of my growing up years. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in a family where television after dinner was how the family spent time together and still his family regularly spends time in front of the television. We just had our second daughter, and our oldest one is 4 years old and watches what I believe to be too much television.
When it Comes to Parenting, Worry is Not Love
One aspect of any good relationship is a sense of concern for the other person’s well-being. Parenting is no exception. It’s common to want to shield your child from pain, mistakes, and heartache and to foster happiness and success. However, as your child grows, the stakes get higher, and your control over their safety and their choices diminishes drastically. To deal with this lack of control, parents may turn to worrying (unease or anxiety over real or potential problems) as a consolation.
Is It Ever OK to Lie to Your Partner?
Is honesty always the best policy? In a recent study, 70 percent of us said we value honesty over pretty much everything else in a relationship. I recently sat down with news correspondent Nicea DeGearing of KUTV 4 News to share thoughts on the importance of honesty in intimate relationships.
My Response: When I Became a Mother, Patriarchy Let Me Down
This post is in response to the Huff Post article “When I became a mother, feminism let me down” by Samantha Johnson. http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/samantha-johnson/when-i-became-a-mother-feminism-let-me-down/We are functioning in a society that pretends that men aren't going to grow up to be fathers.Patriarchy denies that caring and connection with other people are vital for the well-being of humanity, including men.
Mormon Mom Asks "How Do I Respond to My 3 Yr Old Masturbating?"
Ask Dr. Julie Hanks: "When my son was just 2 I found him humping his hands just after a nap. I was shocked but knew enough about the negative effects of shaming that I didn't freak out or scold him. I spent the next year just kindly distracting him away from self pleasuring. When I'd find him (always after waking up) I'd avoid saying anything in words because I didn't know WHAT to say that would be appropriate and positive."
Making the Transition From Mom to Grandma: Studio 5
Everyone gushes about how being a grandma is the best thing ever...and honestly, I was skeptical. But...it IS the best. It's like parenting, but only the good parts of parenting--the love, the joy, the snuggles. Grandparent is like parenting, but without the work, stress & expectations. It's only love & joy. My friends at KSL's Studio 5 invited me to show off baby pictures and gush about Kate, and to share some professional advice and tips I've learned in becoming a grandma.
Love & Gender Equality at Home: Sunstone Symposium Audio
Listen to Dr. Julie Hanks' Sunstone presentation. Early relationship patterns lay the framework for our identity development, social interactions, and assumptions about others. If gender equality is to be achieved within Mormon culture and theology, it must first be modeled in family relationships. Cultural Transformation Theory provides a framework for moving from a domination model that values “masculine” over “feminine” to a partnership model where relationships are based on connection and equality.