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“My Life Didn’t Turn Out as Planned, Now What?”: Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

A mid-life Mormon Mom, Elizabeth, thought life would turn out a certain way if she did the right things: marry, stay home with her children. Her husband is struggling with a porn problem and now, she facing the possibility of divorce. She asks me for help in knowing how to find herself and prepare for her next steps.

Ditch The Friend Drama Once And For All!

Sometimes friend drama rears its head in adult girlfriend relationships. If you want to ditch the exaggerated responses and cattiness, developing emotional awareness and healthy communication is the key.

“Husband Lets Our 4-year old Have Too Much Screen Time”: Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Husband and I have been married for 8 years, and we’ve always had a different mindset regarding television and media usage. I grew up with the belief that TV was almost sinful in its idleness and wastefulness, and even had parents that would cancel cable/satellite for stretches of my growing up years. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in a family where television after dinner was how the family spent time together and still his family regularly spends time in front of the television. We just had our second daughter, and our oldest one is 4 years old and watches what I believe to be too much television.

When it Comes to Parenting, Worry is Not Love

One aspect of any good relationship is a sense of concern for the other person’s well-being. Parenting is no exception. It’s common to want to shield your child from pain, mistakes, and heartache and to foster happiness and success. However, as your child grows, the stakes get higher, and your control over their safety and their choices diminishes drastically. To deal with this lack of control, parents may turn to worrying (unease or anxiety over real or potential problems) as a consolation.

Is It Ever OK to Lie to Your Partner?

Is honesty always the best policy? In a recent study, 70 percent of us said we value honesty over pretty much everything else in a relationship. I recently sat down with news correspondent Nicea DeGearing of KUTV 4 News to share thoughts on the importance of honesty in intimate relationships.

My Response: When I Became a Mother, Patriarchy Let Me Down

This post is in response to the Huff Post article “When I became a mother, feminism let me down” by Samantha Johnson. http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/samantha-johnson/when-i-became-a-mother-feminism-let-me-down/

We are functioning in a society that pretends that men aren’t going to grow up to be fathers.

Patriarchy denies that caring and connection with other people are vital for the well-being of humanity, including men.

Mormon Mom Asks “How Do I Respond to My 3 Yr Old Masturbating?”

Ask Dr. Julie Hanks: “When my son was just 2 I found him humping his hands just after a nap. I was shocked but knew enough about the negative effects of shaming that I didn’t freak out or scold him. I spent the next year just kindly distracting him away from self pleasuring. When I’d find him (always after waking up) I’d avoid saying anything in words because I didn’t know WHAT to say that would be appropriate and positive.”

Left the Church? 25 Things NOT to Say to a Believing Loved One (& what to say instead)

If you are leaving or have left the Church and want to preserve your relationships, remember to respect the agency, emotions, and faith of your believing family members.

A week and a half ago I published a guest post on By Common Consent titled “25 things NOT to say to a loved one leaving the faith (and what to say instead).” The post sparked some great discussion among commenters on the blog and on social media. Some of the critiques or concerns about the article echoed themes similar to the following reader comments: