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Want Hubby to Help With Holidays? Here’s how!

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Women often complain about their husband’s lack of help or enthusiasm for the holiday preparations. Husband’s are often puzzled about why wives get so stressed out about shopping, decorating, and baking. Here’s why women get stressed and solutions to get your man to help with the festivities.

1-Women feel responsible for the “intangibles” of family life (e.g. maintaining relationships, fulfilling family expectations, setting mood & tone, giving meaning to family traditions, a sense that they are adding value)

Get your man to help by…Sharing what your holiday traditions mean to you. (“It’s important to me to keep in touch with friends and family through sending yearly Christmas cards.” “Baking cookies reminds me of holidays with my grandmother and helps me feel connected to her.”)

 2-Women want to fulfill their own & other’s expectations

Get your man to help by… listening to your husband’s feedback that challenges your assumptions about the way things “should be”. Allow your spouse to help you find more realistic expectations. (“Maybe we don’t need to send out Christmas cards every year. Maybe every other year would be fine.” “Do we really have to make homemade gifts for the entire neighborhood?”)

3-Women feel like they should be able to “do it all” & have difficulty asking for help

Get your man to help by… Ask for help directly, specifically, & with a time frame. ( “Will you help put labels on the Christmas cards by the end of the weekend?” “Will you be in charge of buying gifts for Brooke & Darin this year?” )

Alone time? What’s that?

I slept in this morning without interruption. I got ready for the day without interruption. These are rare occurances since becoming a mother 19 years ago. I’m not sure who thought that Dec. would be a great time to have a conference. That person must not be a mother. Can you think of any time of the year more packed with programs, parties, projects than December? It’s the WORST time of the year for a mother of 4 to go M.I.A. and head off to CA for an 8 day therapy conference. Or is it? Maybe it WAS a mom who chose this date at this time of year! The relief I felt excitement and relief as I addressed the last Christmas card, packed my stuff (only my stuff & not several other bags), and headed with a colleague to the airport.

Now my dillemna is whether I will go to every possible workshop with 70000 other people and soak in all the knoweldge and inspiration from psychology gurus from across the globe or should I take time this week to relax, relish silence, nap, and be…alone? I’m sure I’ll find somewhere in the middle.

But at this moment, I am alone and I like it.

Preventing Burnout Workshop

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Thanks to the wonderful women of Sandy Cresent Wards who attended the Wednesday’s “Preventing Emotional Burnout” workshop. It’s the perfect time of year to remember to be kinder to yourself, remember that every family is “messed up”, and what God wants is “a perfect heart”.  You gals made me giggle more than any other group with your Diet Coke and Chocolate comments! I love presenting this workshop because it reminds me that I am not alone. Thank you.

I’ve had some requests about the songs I performed as part of the workshop:

God’s Signature (new song to be release on Julie de Azevedo Best Of cd coming out Spring 2010)

Make Enough of Me (from my CD Home) & is available for download on iTunes. Here’s a link to the Music Video of Make Enough of Me (Requires Quicktime).

Several of you came up and asked about my counseling clinic and services in SLC. Here’s more info about Wasatch Family Therapy. To find out where I’m doing another “Preventing Emotional Burnout” Workshop or other events, classes, firesdies click here.

Oh, and the dessert bar was heavenly. My family thanks you for the silver platter of goodies!

See My Dad’s Gloria Concert Dec. 4 & 5th

Looking for a great way to kick off the Christmas season and start a great Holiday tradition? My dad is presenting his…

“Gloria: Celebrating the Life of Christ” Concert
Dec. 4 & 5th 7:30 pm in SLC.

 

Husband-free Weekend

I am all for spouses taking separate vacations, as long as they don’t replace couple’s vacations! I am holding down the fort this weekend while my husband is tearing it up in So. UT, getting scraped & bruised & banged up, motorcycle riding with the “boys”. A few days without hubby’s not bad and it makes me appreciate him more.  

It seems like the kids don’t sleep as soundly when he’s not here.  Both of our “littles” got up a few times last night and crawled into bed with me. Maybe they feel a little less secure at night when he’s not home. Maybe that’s why I stay up late and sleep less soundly, and feel a little more weight on my shoulders for the welfare of my family. Though family is top priority, friends are the family you choose and even adults need playtime with friends!

Testing, testing…is this thing on?

Ok, first official post on my new website. Thanks for connecting with me.  I’ve had so many different websites: music, therapy, TV segments, etc. that I wanted to bring everything together in one place.  So, while this site is a work in progress, I’m thrilled that you’re here.