We’re giving you permission to let yourself off the hook. Let go of unrealistic expectations and live a happier, more satisfying life. Therapist, Julie Hanks has the top 5 expectations every woman should let go.
We spend a lot of time and energy appreciating other people in our lives – our family, our neighbors, our friends. But do you appreciate yourself? Therapist Julie Hanks helps us recognize our own worth.
When you think of appreciation, what comes to mind? I think of being filled with gratitude for my loved ones and for the opportunities I have been given. Appreciation doesn’t automatically link to the concept of appreciation and gratitude for me!
The details of the bombings in Boston continue to unfold. As news outlets scramble for the facts, we struggle to make sense of what happened: to make sense of the senseless.
Acknowledge tragedy but don’t dwell on it
Take positive Action
If you want to celebrate the success of others, therapist Julie Hanks, LCSW says to look beyond appearance and praising what really matters. Read more
Whether it’s physical appearance, parenting skills, possessions, talents, homes, weight, success, money, creativity, marital status, our children’s behavior…it seems that we women view other women’s success as a threat to our own worth.
In order to manage our own fears and insecurities, we try to prove that we are “good enough” by one-upping someone else. While this may lead to temporary feelings of validation, it never leads to long-term feelings of self-worth.
Why do women compete with one another? Here are a few common reasons that competitive feeling can settle in:
Our goal this month on Studio 5 is to help you “Live without Pretending.” We’re giving you a chance to put that theme into practice, starting with the conversations you have every day. Therapist Julie Hanks says it’s time to stop pretending you’re fine, when you’re not.
When someone asks, “How are you?”, do you automatically say, “I’m fine”? If so, you’re not alone. “Fine” seems to be the default answer for many of us. Sometimes we’re not fine but we feel like we should be fine. Here are some ways to stop pretending you’re find and become more authentic.
“I need help” are often the hardest words for women to say. But therapist Julie Hanks, LCSW says learning to ask for help could change your life.
Why it’s hard to ask for help
We’re afraid people will think less of us
We’re afraid of rejection
We’re afraid of looking weak
We’re afraid of looking imperfect
Through my own personal experience, coupled with professional experience working with families for nearly 20 years, I’ve learned a few helpful strategies for navigating those occasional stressful situations that come whenever families gather.
It’s not your job to make everyone happy
Even though I deal holiday celebrations are associated with happiness, remember that it’s not your job to make everyone happy. Someone will inevitably be disappointed because they didn’t get a gift they were hoping for or because you spent more time with your partner’s family than with them. I worked with a woman in my clinical practice who worked so hard to make sure that everyone delighted with the holiday gifts and family celebrations that she ended up exacerbating her existing physical health problems and had to spend most of the holiday in bed. We worked together to help her let others have the “privilege” of learning how to deal with disappointment and upset.
One Utah mom, Raili, isn’t sure what all of the fuss is about. She says, “When you choose to be a mom, you choose all of the chaos that goes with that. I may not have time to exercise or shop or scrapbook. You have to decide what’s essential and what’s not. I get ME time 24/7 because I’m doing what I chose to do…to be a mom.”