I recently had the opportunity to sit down with my friends at “Good Things Utah” and answer some viewer questions that dealt with balancing a woman’s marriage with her motherhood responsibilities. Here are some questions (and my responses to them):
If you have any kind of close relationship, you’ve almost certainly experienced needing to have a tough conversation. Maybe it’s about children, in-laws, unmet expectations, but when concerns arise (and they do), you need to talk about it. But when emotions are high and there’s a lot at stake, things can quickly get derailed. Inspired by my research, personal experiences, and my years as a clinician, I’ve developed an acronym that can be used as a tool to navigate these difficult discussions. It’s called “OSCAR.”
Divorces are traumatic, painful, and messy; there are so many raw emotions to work through, but if children are involved, the most important priority for two adults is to work to make sure that their kids are well taken care of. Here are four tips to successfully co-parent following a divorce:
When we think of strengthening our marriage relationship, it’s easy to think of big, dramatic actions, like going to therapy or buying expensive gifts for our spouse, but renowned marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman says that it’s actually the little things that make all the difference. Here are 4 easy ways to improve your marriage:
I was pleased to have my thoughts included in a recent Deseret News article that focused on a few themes I am very interested in: aspirational shame for Mormon women, the wage gap, motherhood, and partnership. Here are some of the ideas that I shared:
Manipulation is an extremely broad topic, and it can be difficult to even know where to begin the conversation. To start, a manipulative relationship is one in which an individual seeks to control or use another person; to get him/her to do something or think a certain way by being controlling and dominating.
Have you ever noticed how much we label each other? Particularly as women, we tend to put each other in boxes: there’s the Pinterest mom, the Amazon-Prime mom, the athlete mom, the working mom, the stay-at-home mom, and the list goes on. In life, we need to organize things to make sense of them in our brains, but it can be problematic when we try to categorize people as well. Human beings are multi-dimensional, and labels, even positive ones (“the pretty one,” or “the smart one”), can be limiting. Here are some strategies to move beyond this and see each other as really people:
How is differentiation of self related to assertiveness? When a woman asserts herself, she is differentiating her needs, thoughts, feelings, or wants from another person. She is essentially saying, “I’m think something different than you. I have other feelings than you do. I’m not you.” True assertiveness, as I define it, means that this is done in a way that’s not alienating or rude but still clearly makes those differences known.
As many of us have experienced, even burning love can cool down. By understanding what empathy is and how to demonstrate it in your love relationships, you can heal wounds and create closer bonds.
Whether or not we admit it, everyone has problems in their marriages. Everyone. So many times, it seems that we think we’re the only ones struggling in our relationship with our spouse, and this can cause intense feelings of shame and inadequacy.