Navigate / search

How Attachment Impacts Assertiveness: Therapy Chat Podcast Interview

I’m excited to share this new podcast interview I did with for with Laura Reagan, LCSW-C’s Therapy Chat Podcast. We chat about my new book The Assertiveness Guide for Women and key elements in the book, including:

  • How does attachment relate to our ability to ask for what we need?
  • What is assertiveness?
  • Why is assertiveness difficult for some women?
  • What makes The Assertiveness Guide for Women different than other assertiveness books?

Listen to My Therapy Chat Podcast Interview with Laura Reagan LCSW-C

Download a free chapter of my new book The Assertiveness Guide for Women
Find out more about Laura Reagan LCSW-C’s Therapy Chat podcast and website

Self-Compassion Exercise from Assertiveness Guide Featured on Weightless Blog

According to Julie, think of a recent situation where you experienced pain, whether from a physical injury or an emotional one. It might be anything from a fight with a friend to a breakup to someone’s passing. She suggests asking ourselves these questions:

  • “What did I tell myself about my pain?
  • Was my self-talk nurturing or was it critical?
  • Did I validate my suffering or minimize it?
  • How did I behave toward myself when I was hurting?
  • Was I able to provide nurturing, comfort and validation to myself?”

10 Reasons I’m Not Afraid to Use Trans-Friendly Bathrooms

I am scared that we are using transgender bathroom policies as a way to avoid discussing the real concerns – sexual assault and all forms of victimization. I am afraid that by framing concerns about transgender bathroom policies, we are further victimizing an already victimized populations. I am afraid that we are using this discussion to avoid engaging in more complex discussions about stopping the glorification of violence and our cultural obsession with sex.

5 Myths About Forgiveness: Studio 5

13100837_1177681958931444_1699521208603478215_n

It’s a common saying that we should forgive and forget when someone offends us, but the truth is that there’s a little more to forgiveness than that. Throughout my years as a therapist, I’ve worked with many clients who struggled with the concept of forgiveness (what it means, how to do it, etc.). Whether it’s with minor offenses or severe abuse, we don’t always quite get the whole idea of forgiveness. I define forgiveness as ceasing to feel resentment toward someone who’s wronged us. Forgiveness is beautiful and can heal hearts and relationships, but I think we still may misunderstand it at times. Here are some common myths about forgiveness:
Read more

How to Help Your Child Learn Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a topic that has received a lot of attention from psychology and wellness gurus in recent years. It refers to being present in the moment and cultivating an awareness, non-judgment, and acceptance of one’s feelings, thoughts, and body. There are numerous benefits of mindfulness; those who regularly engage in meditative mindfulness practices report reduced stress, better sleep, improved productivity, lower levels of stress and bodily discomfort and pain, and even weight loss.

Are You Dating a Nice Guy or Jerk in Disguise? Women’s Health Mag Interview

When you’re dating it can be hard to find a nice guy. If you’re found one, make he’s the real deal by watching for these 8 signs.

Thingsyou can doat a talent show

“You want to watch for patterns,” says therapist and relationship expert Julie Hanks, Ph.D., owner and director of Wasatch Family Therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah, and author of The Burnout Cure. “We all behave in unhealthy or manipulative ways once in awhile, but it’s problematic when there are consistent patterns of behavior that don’t feel quite right.”

“If he says unkind or hurtful things to you couched in a kind voice, or in the name of ‘I’m just being honest,’ that’s still mean,” says Hanks. “Or, if he makes cutting or belittling comments and then laughs it off by saying ‘I was only joking! Why do you take things so seriously?’ he just may be a jerk in disguise.”

“You may be flattered that he wants to spend every free moment with you,” says Hanks. “But how does he respond when you aren’t available? A great guy will be able to express disappointment and that he’ll miss you. A jerk in disguise will pout and give you a cold shoulder or a guilt trip for choosing someone else over him.”

Read the entire article here

Read more

How to Handle Being Rejected

No one likes to be rejected. No one.
d
Whether it’s not landing that job you desperately wanted or getting turned down for a date by someone you’ve been crushing on, it’s painful to be told “no.” And what can be even worse is that these kinds of experiences can send you spiraling into self-doubt. Negative thoughts like, “what’s wrong with me?” or, “I’ll never be able to get ahead in my career” can add to your frustration and may even limit you from pursuing goals in the future. But the truth is that rejection is universal and unavoidable; everyone is rejected at some point! Thankfully, there are some key things to remember and strategies to help you avoid getting emotionally crushed. Here are some ways to deal with the reality that not everything you want or go for will work out:
d
If you find yourself obsessing over being rejected, you might want to step back and view what happened as objectively as you can. We sometimes have a tendency to catastrophize, or make some things seem worse than they actually are. Keep in mind that just because you feel rejected doesn’t mean you actually are.
Read more

Is Anxiety Hereditary? What You Need to Know

We get a lot from our parents. Bone structure, our first car, eye color, money habits, etc. It’s well-known that we can inherit certain health conditions from them as well (you’re 50% more likely to develop migraines if either of your parents experiences them) Recently, evidence has emerged that suggests anxiety may be one more thing that we can get from our parents (and this is clinical anxiety, which is much more than ordinary nervousness that we all experience).
d
Quit Monkeying Around!
d

Dr. Ned Kalin and a team of researchers at the University of Wisconsin-Madison analyzed brain scans of rhesus monkeys and found that the ones that displayed signs of anxiety had a family history showing stress-related symptoms in their brain wave patterns. While the study was complex, the takeaway is that anxious thought patterns may not be merely adult occurrences but can have their roots in one’s genes. This is groundbreaking, as the cause of anxiety had previously been largely unknown.
Read more

5 Ways to Cultivate More Optimism: Studio 5

We’ve all faked a smile to get past a rough patch, but there are ways to actually increase our happiness naturally. It’s true that some people may be more prone to having a positive outlook- whether because of their genetics, environment, or upbringing. However, there are still strategies that all people can use in order to train themselves to “look up” a little more. Here are some ways to cultivate optimism in your life: