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Dividing Household Labor in Families Q&A

To talk about how families can better share the load of family chores and unpaid work, we took to social media to see what our viewers’ thought about these issues. Here are a few questions we received:

How To Avoid Being a “Momster” With Our Kids

I recently sat down with Lindsay Aerts of KSL’s “The Mom Show” to discuss some ideas from my book “The Assertiveness Guide for Women,” specifically assertiveness in parenting. We talked about how difficult it is can be to express ourselves to our children is ways that are effective and firm but still kind; no one wants to be a nag, a “momster,” but sometimes it’s a real challenge to keep our patience.

How to be Heard without Being Harsh in Parenting: KSL Moms Show

I’ve done a lot of interviews over the past decade, but honestly, this is one of my favorites! Sometimes things just flow. How to be heard without being harsh in parenting. They talk about her book, The Assertiveness Guide for Women, how to practice a Gottman technique called the soft start, and how to recognize and tame a “Mom-ster” moment. If you want some tips for more peaceful mothering…this is your episode!

“Husband Lets Our 4-year old Have Too Much Screen Time”: Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Husband and I have been married for 8 years, and we’ve always had a different mindset regarding television and media usage. I grew up with the belief that TV was almost sinful in its idleness and wastefulness, and even had parents that would cancel cable/satellite for stretches of my growing up years. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in a family where television after dinner was how the family spent time together and still his family regularly spends time in front of the television. We just had our second daughter, and our oldest one is 4 years old and watches what I believe to be too much television.

When it Comes to Parenting, Worry is Not Love

One aspect of any good relationship is a sense of concern for the other person’s well-being. Parenting is no exception. It’s common to want to shield your child from pain, mistakes, and heartache and to foster happiness and success. However, as your child grows, the stakes get higher, and your control over their safety and their choices diminishes drastically. To deal with this lack of control, parents may turn to worrying (unease or anxiety over real or potential problems) as a consolation.

My Response: When I Became a Mother, Patriarchy Let Me Down

This post is in response to the Huff Post article “When I became a mother, feminism let me down” by Samantha Johnson. http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/samantha-johnson/when-i-became-a-mother-feminism-let-me-down/

We are functioning in a society that pretends that men aren’t going to grow up to be fathers.

Patriarchy denies that caring and connection with other people are vital for the well-being of humanity, including men.

Mormon Mom Asks “How Do I Respond to My 3 Yr Old Masturbating?”

Ask Dr. Julie Hanks: “When my son was just 2 I found him humping his hands just after a nap. I was shocked but knew enough about the negative effects of shaming that I didn’t freak out or scold him. I spent the next year just kindly distracting him away from self pleasuring. When I’d find him (always after waking up) I’d avoid saying anything in words because I didn’t know WHAT to say that would be appropriate and positive.”