Navigate / search

Left the Church? 25 Things NOT to Say to a Believing Loved One (& what to say instead)

If you are leaving or have left the Church and want to preserve your relationships, remember to respect the agency, emotions, and faith of your believing family members.

A week and a half ago I published a guest post on By Common Consent titled “25 things NOT to say to a loved one leaving the faith (and what to say instead).” The post sparked some great discussion among commenters on the blog and on social media. Some of the critiques or concerns about the article echoed themes similar to the following reader comments:

Making the Transition From Mom to Grandma: Studio 5

Everyone gushes about how being a grandma is the best thing ever…and honestly, I was skeptical. But…it IS the best. It’s like parenting, but only the good parts of parenting–the love, the joy, the snuggles. Grandparent is like parenting, but without the work, stress & expectations. It’s only love & joy. My friends at KSL’s Studio 5 invited me to show off baby pictures and gush about Kate, and to share some professional advice and tips I’ve learned in becoming a grandma.

A Crisis of Perception: Sunstone Symposium Audio

A Crisis of Perception: New Paradigms to Address the Complexities of Modern Mormonism a

A Crisis of Perceptions: New Paradigms to Address the Complexities of Modern Mormonism

Presenter: JULIE DE AZEVEDO HANKS, PhD, LCSW, is a seasoned psychotherapist, owner of Wasatch
Family Therapy, and author of The Burnout Cure and The Assertiveness Guide for Women.

ABSTRACT: Mormonism has inherited ways of thinking that are no longer sufficient to understand or address the complexities facing the 21st-century Church. Concepts from cybernetics, systems theory, and
complex thought will be presented as alternative lenses with which to view and wrestle with the Church’s increased historical transparency, gender concerns, racial diversity, LGBTQIA issues, and member disaffection. Read more

Love & Gender Equality at Home: Sunstone Symposium Audio

Listen to Dr. Julie Hanks’ Sunstone presentation. Early relationship patterns lay the framework for our identity development, social interactions, and assumptions about others. If gender equality is to be achieved within Mormon culture and theology, it must first be modeled in family relationships. Cultural Transformation Theory provides a framework for moving from a domination model that values “masculine” over “feminine” to a partnership model where relationships are based on connection and equality.

Free Printables: What NOT to Say (and what TO say) to a Loved One Leaving the Church

By Common Consent published my guest blog today about what not to say to a loved one leaving the Church. I’ve had a handful of requests for PDF printables of the lists in the article…so here you go!

What NOT to Say to a Loved One Leaving the Church (Printable PDF Download)

What TO SAY to a Loved One Leaving the Church (Printable PDF Download)

25 Things TO say to a loved one leaving the Faith(1)
25 Things Not to say to a loved one leaving the Faith(2)

Download FREE chapter of The Assertiveness Guide for Women

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Say Yes to Saying No! Real Simple Magazine Interview

Watch for my advice on saying no in Jan. 2017 Real Simple Magazine cover story “Say Yes to Saying No”! Saying no is necessary but it’s rarely easy. Need help to to say no? Look no further. Get better at saying No in 2017!

Dial Down the Holiday Drama: Vibrant Life Magazine

Is a drama king or queen overthrowing your holiday celebrations? I share tips to manage difficult in-laws, volatile children, and those passive-aggressive comments during family gatherings in this Vibrant Life magazine article.

Preventing Holiday Burnout: Mom Show on KSL Radio

Are you feeling overwhelmed by high expectations and “shoulds”? I sat down with Lindsay Aerts, host of KSL Radio’s The Mom Show to share tips for moms to prevent holiday burnout. Here are a few topics we cover

How to Communicate So You’ll Be Heard: Love Rice Podcast

women friends

Are there ways to approach difficult conversations that will make it more likely that we’ll be heard? Absolutely. I talked with Scabs, host of Love Rice podcast about communication strategies and tips form my newest book The Assertiveness Guide for Women. We share some personal stories about difficult conversations we’ve had recently. In this interview I come off more like a chatty girlfriend than a “professional.” It feels like listening in on two girlfriends talking.

How to Navigate Political Talk During Holiday Gatherings: Interview with Shape.com

If someone starts a conversation leading down a road you know will be bumpy, feel free to duck out—just acknowledge their comment first, says Hanks. “No one can engage you in an intense political discussion without your willingness to enter that discussion,” she says. “You can be really respectful and validate or hear them and then change the subject.”