Smartphones are here to stay, and they can be a wonderful way to stay in touch with friends, work in our careers, and keep up on what’s going on in the world. However, in some ways they are becoming a huge problem for so many families. Kids and adults are so connected to our phones that we often become disconnected from each other! Here are some tips to manage tech overload and scale back:
I recently had the opportunity to sit down with my friends at “Good Things Utah” and answer some viewer questions that dealt with balancing a woman’s marriage with her motherhood responsibilities. Here are some questions (and my responses to them):
When we think of strengthening our marriage relationship, it’s easy to think of big, dramatic actions, like going to therapy or buying expensive gifts for our spouse, but renowned marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman says that it’s actually the little things that make all the difference. Here are 4 easy ways to improve your marriage:
Sometimes Mormon culture seems to perpetuate the idea that women exist solely as a helpmeet or support person for others (namely their husband and children). We often define ourselves in relation to other people, and while it’s wonderful to be focused on relationships, we may unintentionally begin to lose sight of own selves. When it comes
Recently, I was interviewed by “Good Things Utah” as to what is the secret to a happier, healthier marriage. And really, who doesn’t want this kind of marriage? One in which both partners feel connected, valued, and loved. From my 20+ years of experience as a clinical counselor, I’ve found that fostering the skill of empathy can really make all the difference for couples.
As a therapist, one of my favorite things to observe and write about is the intersection of religious beliefs and mental/emotional health. That’s why I was so excited to sit down with Gina Colvin of “A Thoughtful Faith” podcast and discuss Mormon culture in terms of assertiveness, specifically challenges LDS women may experience when it comes to being assertive. Here are some of the main themes from our conversation:
We all want to raise emotionally strong daughters, but sometimes we have to pause and do a little work on ourselves. If you are raising or mentoring a young woman, it’s important for you yourself to identify and own your insecurities, any past issues, and acknowledge any relationship hang-ups you might have. For example, maybe you don’t feel good about your body because of comments your mother made to you when you were a teenager.
In order to understand what assertiveness is, I find that it’s helpful to first identify what it isn’t, as there are many misconceptions about it: it’s not being pushy, aggressive, or demanding. It also doesn’t just mean speaking your mind or telling people what you think. Instead, assertiveness refers to reflecting on your emotional history, understanding and managing your feeling, then expressing yourself in a way that will strengthen your relationships. It’s a way of articulating what you believe while also allowing room for differences. Overall, assertiveness is a way of being your true self while also becoming closer to others.
Have you ever noticed how much we label each other? Particularly as women, we tend to put each other in boxes: there’s the Pinterest mom, the Amazon-Prime mom, the athlete mom, the working mom, the stay-at-home mom, and the list goes on. In life, we need to organize things to make sense of them in our brains, but it can be problematic when we try to categorize people as well. Human beings are multi-dimensional, and labels, even positive ones (“the pretty one,” or “the smart one”), can be limiting. Here are some strategies to move beyond this and see each other as really people:
There are three stances we can take when communicating in difficult circumstances. The lantern is the goal for all communication. A lantern values her own feelings and thoughts but is also mindful of and sensitive toward those of others. Individuals with a doormat stance often allow their own needs and feelings to be trampled on. Those with a sword stance are perhaps too vocal, even pushy, about their views, as they express them in ways that are harsh and alienating to others.