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Mormons and Shame: When You Feel You Don’t Measure Up to the Ideal

There is nothing wrong with teaching ideals and one could argue that that is the primary job of religious institutions. However, in real life, holding up ideals often leaves members never feeling “good enough” because they have not achieved the ideal righteous Mormon life. Chronic feelings of “never good enough” because your life doesn’t look like an Ensign magazine cover, your child has left the Church, your spouse isn’t committed to church callings, you’re struggling with the word of wisdom, you’re having difficulty forgiving someone, you’re not a good provider, or you’re not an attentive mother or father, can erode our whole sense of self.

When it Comes to Parenting, Worry is Not Love

One aspect of any good relationship is a sense of concern for the other person’s well-being. Parenting is no exception. It’s common to want to shield your child from pain, mistakes, and heartache and to foster happiness and success. However, as your child grows, the stakes get higher, and your control over their safety and their choices diminishes drastically. To deal with this lack of control, parents may turn to worrying (unease or anxiety over real or potential problems) as a consolation.

How Do I Manage Postpartum Scary Intrusive Thoughts? KSL Mom Show

A little known symptom of postpartum mood and anxiety disorders are intrusive or scary thoughts – an unwanted, often vivid thought usually centered around harm to yourself or baby, sometimes at your own hand. They can bombard you out of no where and cause a spiral affect of shame and guilt, which can also add to postpartum depression symptoms. Host Lindsay Aerts shares her experience of intrusive thoughts with Dr. Julie Hanks of Wasatch Family Therapy and they discuss how to reduce the distress that scary thoughts can cause. Learn more about The Mom Show.

Listen to part 1 of this interview

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What About Postpartum Anxiety and Anger? KSL The Mom Show

Sometimes women experiencing a postpartum mood or anxiety disorder don’t know they’re suffering because they don’t have the typical depressive symptoms, yet they know they struggling and need help.  Host Lindsay Aerts shares her experience of postpartum anxiety with Dr. Julie Hanks of Wasatch Family Therapy and they break down the many forms a maternal mental health disorder can take. Learn more about The Mom Show.

Listen to part 2 of this interview

Download free chapter of The Assertiveness Guide for Women

What Your Selfies Say About You

Do you post selfies online? If so, you’re far from alone; the selfie trend seems to have reached a fever pitch in recent years. What’s causing this selfie-driven culture? And what are your selfies saying about you?

Do you post selfies? If so, you’re far from alone; the selfie trend seems to have reached a fever pitch in recent years. Back in 2014, Google revealed that Android users alone take 93 million selfies per day! And pretty much all celebrities on Instagram have up-close pictures of their faces that they’ve decided to blast out to their fans. Selfies come in all different forms: reflective, silly, sensual, and just downright vain.
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The One Thing That’s Keeping You From Being Happy

By exploring your self-doubt, challenging your thoughts, and taking action, you can manage insecurities so they don’t sabotage your confidence and happiness….

Confidence is something we all aspire to have, but the truth is that insecurity is something we all experience. Insecurities were huge for most people in high school (think acne, frizzy hair, not making the sports team, etc.), and although we’ve hopefully gotten over some of these things, we still are fragile and imperfect human beings who sometimes doubt ourselves.

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Dr. Julie Hanks Top Posts of 2016

2016 was a tumultuous year – a lot of highs (like publishing a new book “The Assertiveness Guide for Women”), and a some definite lows (like the circus of the US presidential election). Looking over my blog posts over the past year there is a lot of variety in the topics — transgender bathrooms, U.S. presidential election, the difference between humility and pride, saying no, Mormon burnout, teaching kids about healthy sex, idealizing motherhood…and a lot many of the top posts are related to Mormon culture. Here’s the top 10 for the year 2016

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Say Yes to Saying No! Real Simple Magazine Interview

Watch for my advice on saying no in Jan. 2017 Real Simple Magazine cover story “Say Yes to Saying No”! Saying no is necessary but it’s rarely easy. Need help to to say no? Look no further. Get better at saying No in 2017!

When Your Holidays Aren’t Merry: Mom Show on KSL Radio

The pressure to be cheerful and happy during the holidays can be particularly hard for people dealing with grief and loss: the death of a loved one, your first Christmas since being divorced, job loss, or just the passage of time. Lindsay Aerts, host of The Mom Show on KSL Radio, and I sat down to talk about how to manage painful feelings during a time when you’re “supposed” to be merry.

How to Navigate Political Talk During Holiday Gatherings: Interview with Shape.com

If someone starts a conversation leading down a road you know will be bumpy, feel free to duck out—just acknowledge their comment first, says Hanks. “No one can engage you in an intense political discussion without your willingness to enter that discussion,” she says. “You can be really respectful and validate or hear them and then change the subject.”