Navigate / search

Assertive and Authentic Communication After Faith Transition: Debrief Society Podcast

If you’re struggling to communicate authentically and assertively with loved ones about changes in your faith or religious participation you might enjoy this new Debrief Society podcast interview. Becca and I discuss my new book The Assertiveness Guide for Women and how how questioning your faith or leaving the religious tradition of your family of origin can indicate movement toward a higher level differentiation of self (the ability to be an individual while staying connected to loved ones). We also cover cultural barriers to assertive communication (for LDS women in particular), how to deal with the silent treatment once you’ve talked to family members about your faith

Self-Compassion Exercise from Assertiveness Guide Featured on Weightless Blog

According to Julie, think of a recent situation where you experienced pain, whether from a physical injury or an emotional one. It might be anything from a fight with a friend to a breakup to someone’s passing. She suggests asking ourselves these questions:

  • “What did I tell myself about my pain?
  • Was my self-talk nurturing or was it critical?
  • Did I validate my suffering or minimize it?
  • How did I behave toward myself when I was hurting?
  • Was I able to provide nurturing, comfort and validation to myself?”

On Creativity, the Writing Process, Boundaries & More: PsychCentral Interview

The book features valuable suggestions and poignant real-life examples to help us speak up and effectively express ourselves. As I mentioned in my endorsement, I truly believe it should be required reading for all women and girls. Because setting solid boundaries isn’t something we’re normally taught. And yet it’s the foundation for everything: healthy relationships, a meaningful, fulfilling life.

How to Help Your Anxious Daughter: Studio 5

All parents want to raise strong, confident, happy daughters, but there’s evidence showing that female adolescents are experiencing high levels of stress and anxiety. A recent article in the Deseret News suggests that young women are having a rough time; researchers are seeing anxiety, self-harm, and even suicide in girls as young as 10. In recent years, I have witnessed an increase in the number of referrals of young people (girls and boys) to my therapy practice who are experiencing these same sorts of issues. Clearly, we have a real cultural problem to address, and there’s certainly reason to be concerned. Read more

Is there a Burnout Epidemic Among Mormons?

A recent LDSLiving.com, “What to Do When You’re Overwhelmed at Church,” ended with a simple survey. It asked one question: Have you ever experienced spiritual fatigue or burnout? Over 1,900 people took the online survey, and a whopping 95 percent said that they had experienced burnout.

Ninety-five percent! Houston, we have a problem.
Read more

10 Reasons I’m Not Afraid to Use Trans-Friendly Bathrooms

I am scared that we are using transgender bathroom policies as a way to avoid discussing the real concerns – sexual assault and all forms of victimization. I am afraid that by framing concerns about transgender bathroom policies, we are further victimizing an already victimized populations. I am afraid that we are using this discussion to avoid engaging in more complex discussions about stopping the glorification of violence and our cultural obsession with sex.

Ask Julie: How Do I Stop Feeling Depressed, Angry, and Irritable?

Q: I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a little more than a year ago, (although I have been feeling this way for a really long time.) I feel like I’m angry all the time. I want to be happy, but sometimes I feel like the anger is just always there. I have a wonderful husband and family and am happy with them, but I just cannot seem to shake this feeling. The littlest things bother me to where I can hold a grudge. I feel like I’m irritable a lot of the time, and sometimes, I feel as though I could just scream at any moment. Other times, I just feel like crying. I would really appreciate some feedback about this and maybe some type of mental exercises that I can do to start controlling all this built-up anger before it gets any worse.

A: Thank you for writing in. You said you were diagnosed with depression and anxiety but I’m curious if you’re being treated for it currently? If you are on any type of medication, I suggest that you talk with your health care provider and make sure that the dosage and medication is actually helping. Please watch the video for the complete answer.

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

5 Myths About Forgiveness: Studio 5

13100837_1177681958931444_1699521208603478215_n

It’s a common saying that we should forgive and forget when someone offends us, but the truth is that there’s a little more to forgiveness than that. Throughout my years as a therapist, I’ve worked with many clients who struggled with the concept of forgiveness (what it means, how to do it, etc.). Whether it’s with minor offenses or severe abuse, we don’t always quite get the whole idea of forgiveness. I define forgiveness as ceasing to feel resentment toward someone who’s wronged us. Forgiveness is beautiful and can heal hearts and relationships, but I think we still may misunderstand it at times. Here are some common myths about forgiveness:
Read more