Big successes are easy to spot but sometimes small accomplishments are overlooked.
If you want to celebrate the success of others, therapist Julie Hanks, LCSW says to look beyond appearance and praising what really matters. Read more
Whether it’s physical appearance, parenting skills, possessions, talents, homes, weight, success, money, creativity, marital status, our children’s behavior…it seems that we women view other women’s success as a threat to our own worth.
In order to manage our own fears and insecurities, we try to prove that we are “good enough” by one-upping someone else. While this may lead to temporary feelings of validation, it never leads to long-term feelings of self-worth.
Why do women compete with one another? Here are a few common reasons that competitive feeling can settle in:
Our goal this month on Studio 5 is to help you “Live without Pretending.” We’re giving you a chance to put that theme into practice, starting with the conversations you have every day. Therapist Julie Hanks says it’s time to stop pretending you’re fine, when you’re not.
When someone asks, “How are you?”, do you automatically say, “I’m fine”? If so, you’re not alone. “Fine” seems to be the default answer for many of us. Sometimes we’re not fine but we feel like we should be fine. Here are some ways to stop pretending you’re find and become more authentic.
Q: I get depressed sporadically and it interferes with my life and I want to fix it. I’ve always had emotional problems my whole life. Anxiety, depression, difficulty coping with life, codependency, low self-esteem; and I have been trying SO HARD to “just be happy” like everyone tells me to do, but I just can’t do it. I TRY. And I don’t want to take meds, and I don’t know how much a therapist is but I don’t have a lot of money.
“I need help” are often the hardest words for women to say. But therapist Julie Hanks, LCSW says learning to ask for help could change your life.
Why it’s hard to ask for help
We’re afraid people will think less of us
We’re afraid of rejection
We’re afraid of looking weak
We’re afraid of looking imperfect
Through my own personal experience, coupled with professional experience working with families for nearly 20 years, I’ve learned a few helpful strategies for navigating those occasional stressful situations that come whenever families gather.
It’s not your job to make everyone happy
Even though I deal holiday celebrations are associated with happiness, remember that it’s not your job to make everyone happy. Someone will inevitably be disappointed because they didn’t get a gift they were hoping for or because you spent more time with your partner’s family than with them. I worked with a woman in my clinical practice who worked so hard to make sure that everyone delighted with the holiday gifts and family celebrations that she ended up exacerbating her existing physical health problems and had to spend most of the holiday in bed. We worked together to help her let others have the “privilege” of learning how to deal with disappointment and upset.
Hannah Montana, Honey Boo Boo, Dance Moms, and even Fancy Nancy often showcase sassy and sarcastic girls, often labeling them as “cute”. Brooke Walker, host of KSL TV’s Studio 5 stopped by last week and chatted and asked my thoughts on this question, “Are we raising divas?” I share a few thoughts on the topic. My daughter was excited that she got to participate in the shoot too.
Q What does it mean when my best friend tells me he has hallucinations, when he hangs out with his ex girlfriend, where she literally turns into me for a few minutes, and then turns back into herself? I’m starting to worry about his sanity. And at the same time, am curious as to why it’s ME his