Sometimes when women have a hard time standing up for themselves, they think it’s because of a personal weakness or deficiency. Nicole and I talked about how this tendency is actually representative of a larger cultural context: for the vast majority of recorded history, women have had their voices silenced, and it is only within the last century that we’ve really been able to reclaim ou
Over the past several months, I’ve noticed that in LDS circles, we often use the term “role” in reference to gender. From official talks over the pulpit, to blog posts, to casual conversations, it seems we’re always hearing about “gender roles”: role of men and women, role of mothers and fathers. The more I’ve noticed its use, the more uneasy I feel when I hear the word “role. ”
Do you struggle to hold firm boundaries with your kids? These 3 tips for assertive parenting may help. It just posted on my publisher New Harbinger’s website:
“Assertiveness is a topic that I care deeply about. As a clinical therapist of over twenty years, I love to help women find and use their voice to clearly express themselves in a way that strengthens their connections with others and gets their own needs met. While assertiveness may seem more relevant to adult relationships, it also has great application in how we raise and interact with our children. Here are three ways to practice assertiveness in parenting…”
(Click here or on post title above to read the full article)
If you’re struggling to communicate authentically and assertively with loved ones about changes in your faith or religious participation you might enjoy this new Debrief Society podcast interview. Becca and I discuss my new book The Assertiveness Guide for Women and how how questioning your faith or leaving the religious tradition of your family of origin can indicate movement toward a higher level differentiation of self (the ability to be an individual while staying connected to loved ones). We also cover cultural barriers to assertive communication (for LDS women in particular), how to deal with the silent treatment once you’ve talked to family members about your faith
For those of you who follow me on social media, you know how much I love to post articles that invite online discussions. I am usually fairly accurate about predicting which posts will generate a lot of interest and discussion. However, sometimes I am taken by surprise at the intensity of responses to particular posts and articles. That happened a week ago when I posted this link to this Salt Lake Tribune article by Peggy Fletcher Stack on Facebook about a survey and results asking for input about Mormon women’s names and titles. Within in minutes people started reacting and commenting and this flurry went on for several days, and was incredibly passionate. Read for yourself!
Motherhood, Guilt About Not Being Productive, and Beliefs about Motherhood that Hurt Us: KSL Radio Mom Show
Get more information on my new book The Assertiveness Guide for Women
The Assertiveness Guide for Women by Julie de Azevedo Hanks, Ph.D. is an essential read for women who struggle to assert themselves. Women are especially challenged by assertiveness as they’re often socialized to be compliant and “nice”. But Dr. Hanks takes a deeper look by helping you identify how your attachment style impacts your relationships and communication style.
According to Julie, think of a recent situation where you experienced pain, whether from a physical injury or an emotional one. It might be anything from a fight with a friend to a breakup to someone’s passing. She suggests asking ourselves these questions:
- “What did I tell myself about my pain?
- Was my self-talk nurturing or was it critical?
- Did I validate my suffering or minimize it?
- How did I behave toward myself when I was hurting?
- Was I able to provide nurturing, comfort and validation to myself?”
Delightful video interview with Mallory Grimste about the importance of women speaking up, how to learn from resentment, and personal experiences that inspired my new book The Assertiveness Guide for Women