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“My Life Didn’t Turn Out as Planned, Now What?”: Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

A mid-life Mormon Mom, Elizabeth, thought life would turn out a certain way if she did the right things: marry, stay home with her children. Her husband is struggling with a porn problem and now, she facing the possibility of divorce. She asks me for help in knowing how to find herself and prepare for her next steps.

Ditch The Friend Drama Once And For All!

Sometimes friend drama rears its head in adult girlfriend relationships. If you want to ditch the exaggerated responses and cattiness, developing emotional awareness and healthy communication is the key.

Mormons and Shame: When You Feel You Don’t Measure Up to the Ideal

There is nothing wrong with teaching ideals and one could argue that that is the primary job of religious institutions. However, in real life, holding up ideals often leaves members never feeling “good enough” because they have not achieved the ideal righteous Mormon life. Chronic feelings of “never good enough” because your life doesn’t look like an Ensign magazine cover, your child has left the Church, your spouse isn’t committed to church callings, you’re struggling with the word of wisdom, you’re having difficulty forgiving someone, you’re not a good provider, or you’re not an attentive mother or father, can erode our whole sense of self.

“Husband Lets Our 4-year old Have Too Much Screen Time”: Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Husband and I have been married for 8 years, and we’ve always had a different mindset regarding television and media usage. I grew up with the belief that TV was almost sinful in its idleness and wastefulness, and even had parents that would cancel cable/satellite for stretches of my growing up years. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in a family where television after dinner was how the family spent time together and still his family regularly spends time in front of the television. We just had our second daughter, and our oldest one is 4 years old and watches what I believe to be too much television.

When it Comes to Parenting, Worry is Not Love

One aspect of any good relationship is a sense of concern for the other person’s well-being. Parenting is no exception. It’s common to want to shield your child from pain, mistakes, and heartache and to foster happiness and success. However, as your child grows, the stakes get higher, and your control over their safety and their choices diminishes drastically. To deal with this lack of control, parents may turn to worrying (unease or anxiety over real or potential problems) as a consolation.

Is It Ever OK to Lie to Your Partner?

Is honesty always the best policy? In a recent study, 70 percent of us said we value honesty over pretty much everything else in a relationship. I recently sat down with news correspondent Nicea DeGearing of KUTV 4 News to share thoughts on the importance of honesty in intimate relationships.

What is Sin?: Mormon Matters Podcast Interview

What is SIN?

In this episode, Adam Miller and I join Mormon Matters host Dan Wotherspoon for a fresh look at sin. We discuss the true nature of sin, and share interpretations of common scriptures about sin. Listen to the podcast here…

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My Response: When I Became a Mother, Patriarchy Let Me Down

This post is in response to the Huff Post article “When I became a mother, feminism let me down” by Samantha Johnson. http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/samantha-johnson/when-i-became-a-mother-feminism-let-me-down/

We are functioning in a society that pretends that men aren’t going to grow up to be fathers.

Patriarchy denies that caring and connection with other people are vital for the well-being of humanity, including men.