Navigate / search

25 Things NOT to Say to a Loved One Leaving the Church

There are some common phrases that believing loved ones say to loved ones leaving the Church that are often hurtful, even when they are said with positive intent. I’ve also worked with many people who have left the Church that long to hear certain thing from their family members.

Here are 2 lists: what NOT TO say and TO say to a loved one leaving the Church. There’s an option to download PDF version that you can print out and share.

Download PDF 25 Things Not to Say to a Loved One Leaving the Church

Download PDF 25 Things TO Say to Loved One Leaving the Church

About Dr. Julie Hanks, LCSW:
Dynamic self & relationship expert Dr. Julie de Azevedo Hanks, LCSW loves to make a difference for women. She owns Wasatch Family Therapy and regularly contributes to KSL TV's Studio 5, and her advice has been featured nationally including Wall Street Journal, Parenting, Fox News, and others. Connect on InstagramFacebook & Twitter. Her book The Burnout Cure and The Assertiveness Guide for Women are available now. Dr. Hanks is currently accepting coaching clients <a href="/coaching



After my daughter came over to let us know of her decision to remove her name, and how and why she did. Here is the text i sent to her the next day to reaffirm how we felt: “I’m glad you came over last night and shared your spiritual journey. You seem to be in a better place, a place where you feel comfortable in your own skin and more at peace. I admire your tenacity to pursue your own path. We support you in your commitment to find what works for you. We love you and thanks again for the straight forward discussion.”


In your graphic 25 things you should say to a spouse who still believes in the church #17 states you should say “I believe you when you say you know it’s true.” I believe #17 in 25 things to say to a spouse should not be “I believe you when you say you don’t know it’s true” but rather it should say “I believe you when you say it’s not true.” People don’t leave the church because they don’t know if it is true but rather they leave because they become convinced that it is not true. It’s an important distinction to make if the two in the relationship are trying to understand each other. Plus that will make them parallel each other better.

Leave a comment


email* (not published)