4 Ways To Offer A Sincere Apology: Good Things Utah
Developing a close and healthy relationship with a romantic partner inevitably means that at times, both individuals will take missteps. While it’s normal to make mistakes, the way we respond to our own actions and words can either strengthen or detract from the relationship. When you find that you’ve said or done something wrong, here are some strategies to offer a sincere and meaningful apology:
Get Specific About Your Behavior
Avoid statements like “I’m sorry for whatever I did that upset you.” That can come off as passive-aggressive and insincere. Instead, really own up to what you did that hurt the other person. Saying something like, “I’m sorry when I was rude to you this morning on the phone” is more sincere because it uses specific details that show you’re aware of your behavior.
Focus On Their Feelings
The purpose of your apology is to acknowledge how your words or behavior negatively impacted your partner. Statements like, “I bet that really hurt you” can be validating for the other person’s emotional experience.
Avoid Justifications or Reasons
Don’t shift the conversation away from your partner to you. Save talking about why you did or said something offensive for another time so you don’t undermine your own apology.
Make It Right
Ask the other person what steps you can make to rectify your actions. Carefully listening to and valuing their request will demonstrate your willingness to change and make your connection closer.
For more tips on healthy communication in relationships, check out my book “The Assertiveness Guide for Women”
Dynamic self & relationship expert Dr. Julie de Azevedo Hanks, LCSW loves to make a difference for women. She owns Wasatch Family Therapy and regularly contributes to KSL TV's Studio 5, and her advice has been featured nationally including Wall Street Journal, Parenting, Fox News, and others. Connect on Facebook & Twitter. Her books The Burnout Cure and The Assertiveness Guide are now available.