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10 Reasons I’m Not Afraid to Use Trans-Friendly Bathrooms

During the last few months, public discussions and debates have centered around bathroom policies for transgender individuals. In March, the Governor of North Carolina signed HB 2, a bill requiring individuals to use the bathroom that matches their biological sex, not their gender identity, thus prompting intense debate over this controversial bill.  Then in April, Target reiterated their trans-friendly bathroom policy. The intensity of the discussion continued to escalate with more media, blog posts, discussions, rants, and a campaign to boycott Target in order to protect women and children. Then last Friday’s guidance from U.S. Departments of Justice and Education Release Joint Guidance to Help Schools Ensure the Civil Rights of Transgender Students prompted yet another flurry of conversations, debates, and news pieces.

I am personally and professionally interested in the issues being raised in this discussion. As a therapist, I’ve worked with dozens of abuse victims in their healing process. I’ve also worked with a handful of LGBT clients and families and have some idea of the challenges they face. As a social worker, I am an advocate for civil rights and social justice issues. As a parent, I am very concerned about my children’s safety, and I do my best to protect their well-being in every area of their lives.

As the intensity of the discussion continues, I have noticed that I am not alarmed or afraid of trans-friendly bathroom policies. I am no more concerned about my children’s or my own safety than I was last year.

10 Reasons I'm Not Afraid of Using Trans-Friendly Bathrooms(1)

Here are 10 reasons why I’m not afraid to use trans-friendly bathrooms:

1) Transgender individuals have already been using their bathroom of choice. The only thing that has changed is that more people are aware of policies that have already been in place. Target was reiterating its policy, not creating a new policy. Most of the time we simply have no idea that we’re sharing a bathroom or locker room with a transgender man or woman because they appear like the people in the bathroom.

2) Transgender individuals are no more likely to sexually assault someone than cisgender people. Transgender individuals choosing to use a bathroom matching their gender identity doesn’t pose an increased safety risk to the public.

3) Safety concerns are about sexual predators not transgender bathroom use. Collapsing two different issues into the same discussion does a disservice to all of us. It continues to perpetuate false assumption that LGBT individuals are more likely to be sexual predators or abusers. It also prevents us from discussing the actual source of the bathroom safety concerns:  how to prevent sexual violence.

4) It is unlikely that boys will now claim to be transgender in order to access girls bathrooms or locker rooms. I have some idea of the social, emotional, and familial challenges that transgender individuals face. I find it hard to believe that a boy would claim to be trans and take on the associated stigma, potentially subjecting themselves to mistreatment. Seventy percent of trans individuals say they’ve been verbally harassed in bathrooms and 10 % reported physical assault (source). If a child or teen does claim to be trans to access a locker room of the opposite sex, this is not a transgender issue. This person is committing the crime of voyeurism.

5) Sexual predators have always and will continue to find ways to access victims. Men have always been able to dress up as women and sneak into restrooms in a variety of other ways, and female abusers often have even easier access to children than male abusers. Whether in bathrooms, dark streets, parking garages, school playgrounds, predators will find a way to access vulnerable populations. This is not a transgender bathroom issue.

6) Sexual assault is rarely perpetrated by a stranger hiding in a bathroom. Most sexual assaults are perpetrated by a family member, neighbor, friend, teacher, coach, or date, etc. In fact, 93% of juvenile sexual assault victims know their attacker (source). So why are we so concerned about a stranger hiding in a bathroom scenario and much less concerned about sending our children to school, church, or to play at a neighbor’s house where they are more likely to be victimized?

7) I’ve already spent 4 decades being cautious when using public bathrooms. My parents taught me to be alert and aware in public restrooms, to go with a buddy, and to report any suspicious activity. I have taught my children basic rules of public restroom safety. I have no fear of using a restroom with a transgender woman; I am fearful of sexual predators.

8) States and private companies with trans-friendly bathroom policies have not seen any increase in assaults. Although there have been anecdotal reports of predators using trans-friendly bathroom policies to gain access to bathroom to commit crimes, there is no evidence of an increase in sexual violence. According to the National Task Force to End Sexual and Domestic Violence Against Women:

“Over 200 municipalities and 18 states have nondiscrimination laws protecting transgender people’s access to facilities consistent with the gender they live every day. None of those jurisdictions have [sic] seen a rise in sexual violence or other public safety issues due to nondiscrimination laws. Assaulting another person in a restroom or changing room remains against the law in every single state.” (source)

9) I am concerned about the safety of boys, too. Many sexual predators are male and are going to the bathroom and showering with our sons everyday. Why are the boys left out of the discussion of bathroom safety? If we’re concerned about sexual assault, we need to include males in the conversation as potential victims. In fact, 1 in 33 American men have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime (source). Discussing only female’s bathroom safety continues to perpetuate the belief that boys aren’t vulnerable to sexual assault by men (or women).

10) This is an opportunity for reflection and self-awareness – individually and collectively. In the therapy office, I’ve often told couples that fights and disagreements are rarely about the topic being discussed and almost always about the underlying vulnerable emotions being experienced. Fights about money, for example, aren’t about dollars but what the money means and how we feel about it. Fear, sadness, confusion, longing are examples of emotions that often lurk below the surface of intense arguments between couples. I think this idea applies to the larger conversation we are having about transgender bathroom policies. This discussion is a chance for us to pause and reflect on what is really going on. Is it fear of change? Fear of the unfamiliar? Sadness about letting go of a sense of control? Sadness that the world is changing? I can only answer this question for myself:

I am scared that we are using transgender bathroom policies as a way to avoid discussing the real concerns – sexual assault and all forms of victimization. I am afraid that by framing concerns about transgender bathroom policies, we are further victimizing an already victimized population. I am afraid that we are using this discussion to avoid engaging in more complex discussions about stopping the glorification of violence and our cultural obsession with sex.

What other topics are on your mind? I’m always open to suggestions and ideas for future blog articles. Drop me an email here

Interested in reading my recent LDS/Mormon cultural commentary articles?

About Dr. Julie Hanks, LCSW:
Dynamic self & relationship expert Dr. Julie de Azevedo Hanks, LCSW loves to make a difference for women. She owns Wasatch Family Therapy and regularly contributes to KSL TV's Studio 5, and her advice has been featured nationally including Wall Street Journal, Parenting, Fox News, and others. Connect on Facebook & Twitter. Her books The Burnout Cure and The Assertiveness Guide are now available.

Comments

staci

thank you for this. the fear mongering, transphobic talk and unkind words from LDS and other Christians is making me so so sad lately. This is great, thanks Dr!

Branna

I have to disagree with your fear that we are avoiding the real issue of sexual assault — I see this as directly being a part of that real conversation. In nearly everything I have read on the topic, the authors are quick to point out that they are not concerned with transgenders using whichever bathroom, but are concerned with this as opening the doors to sexual assault by straight people. How are we avoiding the issue of sexual assault, when that is exactly what we are talking about? While you give reasons why you don’t think it will, others give just as valid reasons why they think it will.

I do believe you have a valid point where little boys are concerned, but — I’m having trouble expressing my thoughts here. I know this isn’t what you are saying, but it comes across as that because we allow men and boys in the same bathrooms, why do anything to help the girls? Yes, perhaps we do need to address the safety of boys, but that in no way changes the current issue being addressed — the safety of women and girls.

Audrey

There is another agenda behind all the hullabaloo and distraction of “bathrooms.” It’s the classic progressive tactic of using one silly issue to really hide what the real motive is. We as a public are manipulated like this all the time. As Saul Alinsky in his book “Rules for Radicals,” said, ““You never let a serious crisis go to waste. And what I mean by that it’s an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before.” Here is the template. 1) Use a tragedy as a crisis, or create a crisis where none exists. 2) Paint the crisis with as much emotion as possible, and throw logical analysis out the window. 3) Propose the one and only solution to the problem, which just happens to coincide with what you’ve wanted to implement for many years. 4) Paint anyone who opposes your one and only solution as evil, uncaring, not smart enough to understand the nuanced brilliance of your solution, or in the pockets of …. you pick the evil entity. 5) Force the solution on the people by any means, whether legislatively, by executive order, or through the legal system. 6) When the unintended consequences of your solution rear their ugly head, use them as a reason for more brilliant solutions to made up crises. https://austrianaddict.com/2012/12/18/you-never-let-a-serious-crisis-go-to-waste/

Ellie

As an educator and facilitator working with abused teens, I’m stunned and disappointed at your “get over it” tone and your unsupported “it’s so unlikely” claims.
This issue has nothing to do with the real trans population. The perpetrators in this article were not actual transgendered men, but rather predators who who faked it to gain access to their victims. Of COURSE this is going to happen more often now. It’s a no-brainer. Ask Canada.
Neither does this issue have anything to do with so-called sexual “violence.” Does a predator have to touch you before you become a victim? Shame on you, Dr. Hanks, for reducing the experience of being spied on, filmed, threatened, and made to feel unsafe to something less than traumatizing. You know better.
http://www.dailywire.com/news/5190/5-times-transgender-men-abused-women-and-children-amanda-prestigiacomo

JMD

I love your comment, Branna. I know many people with strong feeling son both sides of this issue. Those in favor of current trans-friendly bathroom laws are concerned with the rights and well-being of transgender individuals and downplay any risks to children. Those who are opposed are concerned for the safety and well-being of their children. I don’t know anyone who opposes these laws out of fear or spite toward transgender individuals.

It seems to me that we have an opportunity to strengthen the rights and well-being of transgender individuals, while still maintaining or increasing the safety of children and other vulnerable individuals at the same time. That won’t happen, though, if we continue to shout past each other or assign blame (transphobic, etc.) on people who have valid concerns.

Happymommy

So an example: female students spend most of their childhood years going to school with Fred. Fred decides that he is going to start living as a female. He wants to come into the girl’s restrooms and locker rooms. And the girls are not comfortable with Fred coming in to their restrooms and locker rooms. What about their feelings? Why do Fred’s feelings trump all the girls who are uncomfortable? Curious as to your opinion about that. No one is talking about those other kids in schools who are affected by this issue in this way.

JB Smooth

Ellie, I’ve looked at all those examples, as well as the 25 others the Breitbart managed to dig up from their back archive. I’ve dissected them all. And the first 2 are the only relevant examples, in which someone deliberately took advantage of transgender protections. In the first (Seattle), the guy didn’t even do anything. He appears to have been making a statement. He didn’t disrobe or peep through curtains or watch girls showering. He was there as a ridiculous protest. The second (in Toronto) is very concerning, and this man did exactly as everyone feared.

However, in every other example, it either occurred in a state with no transgender protections, or the man entered the bathroom surreptitiously. He didn’t even try to use the transgender protections as a defense, and it wouldn’t have worked anyway – their behaviors while in the bathrooms were still illegal.

There are plenty of states and businesses with transgender protections that specifically extend to bathrooms, and we can only find ONE example of a predator blatantly taking advantage? That’s a pretty weak argument.

Julie, thank you so much for writing this. I know you don’t speak for the LDS Church, but it is wonderful to have the perspective of a therapist who shares the religious convictions of me and my friends.

Robert Slaven

There is so much fear and ignorance surrounding this issue that I’m astounded. This issue has NOTHING to do with sexual predators. Brianna, If a sexual predator wants to go into the “wrong” bathroom to commit an assault, there’s nothing stopping them now. It happens already. Also, transgender people already often use a bathroom that doesn’t match their assigned gender at birth, and if they “pass” well enough, no one even notices. All this is about is being kinder to transgender people, who go through enough crap through life as it is; they are almost never sexual predators, but they are far more likely to be VICTIMS of sexual assault, physical assault, and even homicide, than anyone else. So much of this fear comes from conflating transgender people with sexual predators; please learn the difference.

Robert Slaven

Ellie, what do you mean by “ask Canada”? I’m a Canadian living in Canada, and nothing along these lines is “worse” than in the US or elsewhere. The fact is, sexual predators (including the predators in the article you linked who pretended to be “transgender”) have been doing stuff like this for decades. Sure, it’s novel to use transgender-friendly bathroom policies as an excuse, but this kind of crap isn’t magically going to happen more often just because we extend some understanding and kindness to transgender people. As for “being spied on, filmed, threatened, and made to feel unsafe”, well, I’ve never heard of a case where someone who is honestly transgender (and not a “faker” like those described in the linked article) did any of that to anyone else … but there have been MANY cases where transgender people have been on the receiving end of that kind of abuse. Again, do NOT make the mistake of conflating transgender people with sexual predators.

Alyssa Anderson

Great post! It’s a very controversial topic right now and I agree that we all need to step back and try to look at it from both the rights of the trans-gendered but also safety from sexual abuse. Unfortunately, sexual abuse can happen anywhere and by anyone, so teaching my kids to be safe is very important to me. Personally, I don’t care who’s in the restroom with me and my children as long as they are also there just to go to the bathroom and not spying on others or threatening others. I worked at Mervyn’s in the 90’s and was policy back then that men could use the women’s dressing room if they wanted/needed to but the attendant needed to stay in the area for monitoring.

S Rowland

Gender dysphoria—the official psychiatric term for feeling oneself to be of the opposite sex—belongs in the family of similarly disordered assumptions about the body, such as anorexia nervosa and body dysmorphic disorder. Its treatment should not be directed at the body as with surgery and hormones any more than one treats obesity-fearing anorexic patients with liposuction. The treatment should strive to correct the false, problematic nature of the assumption and to resolve the psychosocial conflicts provoking it.

TS

The issue of children in school locker rooms and showers is not the same as some public restroom at the mall. The courts have ruled that schools have the right and responsibility to act in loco parentis–in place of the parents with parent-like responsibilities. This is why school administrators can search student lockers, whereas police officers cannot without a warrant and probable cause. This is why schools can have rules and dress codes–just like parents can have rules and influence what they allow their kids to wear. A parent can say, “Transgender or not, you have male anatomy, so you may not undress in front of your sister.” Schools have always had this right, too.

School restroom issues are best decided on a case by case basis. In one case, maybe the child can just have PE at the end of the day and shower at home. Maybe there is plenty of privacy for all in a particular locker room. Maybe a separate individual restroom will work in another case. These are school and parent decisions. There are so many levels where this should be dealt with, instead of decree by the President. Schools, parents, school districts, etc. State legislatures are a bit too far removed. Congress is very far removed, but at least it is their job to legislate. The President is head of the executive branch and has no business dispensing with states rights, usurping the powers of the judicial and legislative branches, and declaring a one-size-fits-all approach.

Men are men. Women are women. We know this. The left is trying so hard to push the idea that there is no such thing as gender. We know this is not true. A tiny fraction of the population may be transgendered, but a greater percentage of the population is out there trying to tell us that gender doesn’t exist. Science tells us it does. Reason tells us it does. Common sense tells us it does. Conservatives are reacting to the concept that gender doesn’t exist and doesn’t matter more than they are upset about trangender restroom issues.

Bonnie Flint

Much love to you for writing about such a hot-button issue. As an educator of nearly 30 years, all of it spent working with or for teens, I’m especially grateful that your approach to this issue shows love and concern for all of my kids.

Victoria

Staci,

I just want to clarify that LDS people are not “fearmongering.” I am an active Saint who does not fear transgender people at all. I agree with what is said here, and found this article via a fellow Mormon. Classifying all Mormons in this way is not fair, nor politically correct.

Lexi

S Rowland….. Your wrong. Dead wrong and have no basis of fact for your statement. As a trans person, who is also an LCSW, I loved this article and it is spot on. Thank you Dr. Hanks. I’m so sorry I couldn’t see you at the Northstar conference, I was presenting at the same time you were, otherwise I would’ve been there.

Lois

I appreciate your willingness to look at all sides of the issue. I think you have made some very compassionate statements. Yet, some of them have both faulty logic and math. Take for instance your point number six. You say sexual assault rarely occurs in bathrooms. Yet, that is one of the top arguments from those promoting transgender use of bathrooms of the opposite gender –transgender individuals report they have been sexually assaulted in bathrooms. Logically, one cannot say that what happens to one group of people does not happen to the other. If transgender individuals are being assaulted in bathrooms, then so are girls and women. Conversely, if your statement that assault rarely happens in bathrooms is true, then we have to use that same argue to the transgender population and say their reason for needing to use a different bathroom is not valid. They are not being assaulted in bathrooms either.

Also, in number six you infer that the number of sexual assaults by “unknown attackers” is so small the point is practically moot. You say in 93 percent of sexual assault cases the person knows their attacker. That leaves 7 percent of cases who don’t. A VERY low estimate of sexual assault on young girls is 2 out of ten. Most believe it is twice that. But, let’s go with the lowest. That means 200 out of 1,000 girls are assaulted. According to your own stats, 7 percent of those girls don’t know their attacker. That equals 14 out of 1,000 girls who are assaulted by someone they don’t know. Now, let’s take a look at the transgender stats. Estimates say .3 of the population is transgender. That means 3 out of 1,000. We don’t know how many out of the 3 are statistically assaulted, but let’s say it is 100 percent of them. Now compare those numbers: 3 out of 1,000 vs. 14 out of 1,000. That means the risk of a girl to be sexually assaulted by an “unknown assailant” is more than quadruple of that of transgender person. Not a moot point at all once you actually do that math.

HMJ

Thank you.

I am a very private person. I do not like using the bathroom with someone in the next stall. I have been sexually assaulted (in my own home). I am scared of the thought of a predator that close while I am vulnerable.

I hated having to shower with all the other girls. I was a late bloomer. It was humiliating. I walked into the shower with a towel wrapped around me and only opened it up enough to let the water in. Can you imagine if you had more or less to hide? I honestly cannot see a boy dressing up like a girl and putting himself through all of that just to get a glimpse. It would be a long-term commitment (all of the school year) and he would have to keep any “developments” really hidden.

We are all the same and we are all different. I never want to be the person who shames someone else or makes someone even more frightened. This issue is about providing people with a safe place.

I hate the thought that people think this is a mental illness. But, if you do, isn’t that all the more reason to be kind? Take the example of anorexia: IMO, It would be more like tying them down to force feed them, making them suffer more trauma. Your fear that they might die might be justified. Abusing that person just isn’t.

APCall

Thank you for including #9.

Mike

Anyone who believes that there are not some teenage boys who will seek to take advantage of this issue by stating that they have a female gender identity, in order to gain access to girls’ locker rooms (with a wink, wink to their friends) is simply naive at best. Imagine if you are a school administrator and a boy walks into the girls’ locker room, and you try to stop him because you suspect ulterior motives…bam! Discrimination lawsuit. The White House directive issued last week will hurt school administrators, teachers, civil employees, and most importantly children. Target can do what they want to…I don’t have to shop there, or if I do, I can take my kids to the bathroom and protect them. In school they’re forced to change in locker rooms (or fail a required class) and I’m not there to protect them. Child safety IS the issue at hand, and just because predators have always found ways to commit their hideous crimes, does NOT mean we should make it easier as a society, for them to commit them. In any discussion about this issue, child safety (boys and girls) should always be the number one priority.

Lois

Off topic:

HMJ, a quick FYI concerning your mention of anorexia nervosa treatment and exposure to food. A good number of therapists–especially those who use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), an effective approach to overcoming anxiety disorders in which Anorexia falls–strongly believe to get over a fear of food, individuals must be exposed to it in large amounts and frequently. Of course, this is done using different methods and often under medical direction. Kinda crazy, huh? Seems counter intuitive but it does work.

Rob G

@HMJ Knowing what you know and having had your experience feeling uncomfortable in the female showers because you were a “late bloomer”, why would a transexual with similar feelings of hurt, fear, and embarrassment want to shower with the rest of the girls with their male anatomy in full view? Wouldn’t you think they would feel much more embarrassed to shower with the girls than you did from just being a late bloomer? Wouldn’t you think they would feel much more comfortable showering with people with the same anatomy? I mean they would at least appear to be much more normal even if they didn’t feel like a male. If the fear and discomfort comes from peer pressure or the desire to be “normal”, then their desire to shower with the opposite sex doesn’t seem reasonable. They would appear more normal showering with their own sex. So then, is the discomfort from seeing all the anatomy of the “opposite gender” (meaning the opposite gender from the one they feel they are)? That hardly seems reasonable since they must see their own anatomy every time the utilize the restroom. If they fear they will be teased because of their mannerisms, then that can’t be as bad as the fear of being accepted by the other gender since they don’t have the same anatomy. None of these cases lead to the transexual wanting to shower with the opposite gender. Instead it would lead to them wanting their own private place to shower away from everyone else. The only reasons I can think of why they would want to be in the opposite shower or bathroom is to force their peers of their preferred gender to accept them as that gender in order to feel “normal” (though at the same time making their peers extremely uncomfortable) or they notice they get more freedom, trust, and privilege among their preferred gender which they might not get as their original gender. My daughter was good friends with a “gay” male student at her high school who went to great lengths to show and demonstrate that he was gay. In the end after years of friendship, my daughter discovered that he was in fact not gay (after he confessed to her because he had a crush on her), but he found that he could get girls attention and trust and friendship as a “gay” guy which because of his looks and mannerisms he had no chance of getting as a “normal” guy (quotes were his words). If this student went to these lengths for this purpose, it seems the next logical step if it were an option would be to carry this role to transgenderism if it were possible. This kid lived as a homosexual student for years and was never discovered with the exception of my daughter who never told her fellow students. He used his status as a homosexual in his peer groups to be present in situations where the girls were changing, and to be present to hear all the gossip the girls would tell each other. He loved it. However, as evidenced by his confession to my daughter, he was in fact not homosexual, and was going through all the craziness for exactly the purpose everyone fears would be the point of this shower situation. And it worked. You can’t tell me a boy wouldn’t do it for a chance to be in the showers with the girls. My daughter’s friend sure would!!

lulu

Are you kidding me??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emily

Julie you rock! Thanks for this thoughtful article. I’ve been able to share it with my friends and have some really insightful conversations with them.

T.H.

According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, there were 843,260 registered sex offenders living in the US in 2015. I’m one of them. I have been through years and years of therapy, and continue to go to therapy to this day. I can say with confidence that I will never (sexually) hurt another person again.

That being said, if this had been a law years ago, I would not hesitate to pretend to be trans so I could go into the womens locker room. Did you know they make cameras that are about the size of a pencil eraser? It would be very easy to go hide one in the shower, leave for a few hours, then pop back in, grab it, and leave without bothering anyone.

I do not see anything good coming from this. I’m thankful that boys were boys and girls were girls 30 years ago. I didn’t realize the terrible consequences of my actions while I was acting on them, and I doubt today’s predators are any more enlightened or caring than I was.

It is foolish to believe that people who are against this are against the trans population. The uproar has nothing to do with them.

(And if it is any consolation at all, I am severely depressed and suicidal because of my past. You may say whatever you’d like about horrible I am, but I will not be reading any further comments.)

Mike

1) So why bother changing things?
2) True. But this isn’t really about whether the trans-person is the predator in question.
3) True. But as gay marriage is being used to whip up anti-Christian sentiment, one cannot ignore the obvious repercussions by separating two overlapping issues into two completely different problems because they really are closely connected. Also, as gender is part of our eternal identities, and this measure not only goes against that but conforms to a drastic minority at the costly expense of the majority, and all by the design of forces which want to undermine the family.
4) Clearly she underestimates what boys and girls and especially predators will do to gain access to their targets’ private areas.
5) That does not mean we should make the predators’ task easier for them. It’s like saying, “Criminals will always find ways to break into your home, or mug you on the street, or rob banks, or rape, steal, and kill, so we shouldn’t bother with security measures.”
6) Firstly, “rarely” is not the same as “never.” It does happen, therefore it must be addressed. Secondly, so what if it’s not a stranger? I don’t see how that really relates, unless one is going to argue that since they’re being preyed on at home, making the public bathroom a safer place for them is somehow a terrible idea.
7) She speaks of how cautious she is and how cautious she thinks she’s made her children. The fact that there has ever been a need for caution (which not everyone practices, by the way) speaks horrific volumes. And this problem can only be exacerbated, not diminished, by dismantling the barrier between genders.
8) Valid, but I’m not jeopardizing my nieces’ and nephews’ safety based on only one source. Some things are simply to important.
9) Yes. And this is another reason to keep genders separate.
10) Your final point is that she’s afraid this issue is being used to subconsciously block another one when the one has brought the other to the forefront? …I disagree with your logic on that one.

Maggie

Why are we denying reality? A woman is a woman, and a man is a man. Facts don’t care about our feelings. To those who’d bring up the issues of mixed chromosomes, can we not realize that a person may have some genetic abnormalities and STILL be either a woman or a man?

And to those who bring up issues of trans suicide, I’d point out that in very, very liberal countries where trans individuals are generally accepted, the suicide rate remains staggeringly high. The way to be compassionate to gender-confused individuals is to help them through a mental illness, NOT play into their delusion. There is nothing compassionate about that.

One of the things missing from this discussion (IMO) is that OBAMA DOESN’T HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO DO THIS! Where in the Constitution does it say the commander in chief can tell the states what they must do concerning bathrooms or else potentially lose funding (hint: nowhere). Even if you agree with the “guidance,” this is an abuse of power. Period. Benevolent tyranny (if you can call it benevolent) is still tyranny. Our president is usurping power for his gain. Unbelievable.

Mike

T.H. Thank you for sharing. It takes a lot of courage to post like that, even anonymously, but your perspective is so important to this conversation. And frankly, in my opinion, what you said is more pertinent than anything said in the article itself.

Gary Mikesell

I don’t feel like you adressed the coed showers and locker rooms enough. Our bodies are sacred. We have private parts. Private parts are private because God said they should be. That is why he covered Adam and Eve with Garments. To allow a Male transgender into a Female shower with other naked kids doesn’t show respect or Privacy that the ‘normal’ girls deserve. The same thing if a trans girl who plays on the football team then gets into the showers with all the ‘normal’ boys. The rights of the normal kids are being trampled on not to mention the disrespect for sacredness and Privacy. I mean come on its simple Decency!

Gary Mikesell

I would really like to hear your response !

Gary Mikesell

I can see More chance for a trans kid getting abused in the opposite lockers than in the same sex lockers. Its called common sense.

Virtual Oases – The Exponent

[…] authority!) Should we be worried about sharing bathrooms with Trans people? Dr. Julie Hanks gives 10 reasons why not, and explains the difference between sharing a place to use the potty versus keeping our children […]

Eva Forde

THANK YOU, Dr. Hanks! I’m also a social worker, clinician, parent and Christian. I remember a time when I probably would have been appalled and possibly even enraged at the thought of trans bathrooms. But now after having traveled to many parts of the world where gender-neutral bathrooms are the norm, and after having counseled many, many members of the LGBT community, I see the biggest challenge for society is IGNORANCE and lack of education on this and similar issues. Thank you again for presenting this perspective.

dora

Did you see the recent arrest of a Transgender man/woman who was caught taking photos of a 13- year old girl in Target’s Restroom? POlice discovered over 700 photos of underage girls using the restroom on his phone, This one incident discredits your reason number 6.

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