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Jealous of Your Fiancé’s Female Friend? Brides.com Interview

About Dr. Julie Hanks, LCSW:
Dynamic self & relationship expert Dr. Julie de Azevedo Hanks, LCSW loves to make a difference for women. She owns Wasatch Family Therapy and regularly contributes to TV Shows and her advice has been featured nationally including Wall Street Journal, Parenting, Fox News, and others. Connect on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter. Her books The Burnout Cure and The Assertiveness Guide are now available. Dr. Hanks is currently accepting coaching clients.

Comments

Kristian

You refer to a fiancé as having friends of the opposite sex, does it also apply to a married couple? Since a marriage sometimes quickly changes the status of a fiancé to a financéer, after “I Do” girls often say, “I Don’t” in marriage. (if you know what I mean) mainly because of some irrational, Religious guilt issue or as you plainly put it, “they’re incapable of normalized pleasure of intimacy.”

In an article that you refer to, by Jullian Kramer, it states that “couples with the highest marital satisfaction, have tight circles of ‘warm and wild’ friends” and that other platonic friendships can be a “sexy pick-me-up” or “extra-marital friends, always think we’re smart and beautiful because they don’t live with us”.  Relationships I have with beautiful female friends, (all of them warm, some wild) fill the many arteries of the dynamics in my character.

Under the above circumstances, where marriage reveals that the girl just has ‘Religious Guilt’ issues or simply does not understand that the ‘sexual pleasures’ and ‘intimacy’ are bonding factors to a healthy relationship, I think that tends to sit uncomfortably in her mind, which creates unnecessary worry or jealousy that fosters resentments and then any of our sexual connections start in a downward spiral, which keeps my friendships even more important.

I even, at times, find it difficult to work the same Job, which results in being in a good physical condition with lots of sun it also cultures mental health, morning rises, and working outdoors.

Since I’m not around the opposite sex at a work site, I mostly attribute her concerns to my having friends not just staying tone and tan.  Because the alternatives are less obvious, I’m confused in the idea of relinquishing my friendships. That seems to be the only answer.

It seems that one change will result in another unhealthy reaction(s).  This seems to be a ‘catch 22’ situation, ‘Damned if you do… Damned if you don’t.

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